Angliški SMS tekstai

• A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

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• At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

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• Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

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• Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don’t care, me don’t cry, me just happy that a cow can’t fly!!

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• Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching………still searching……get a good grip of your mobile….still searching…….no brains found.

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• Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all!

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• For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?”

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• If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel

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• My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment…

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• Nice perfume… but do you really need to marinate in it?

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• One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

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• Read in a hospital… The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

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• Roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

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• Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

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• The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

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• The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

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• They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

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• What he want, I do not want … What I want, he does not want … What we want, is not allowed!

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• When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

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• You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

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• I tried to call you from a payphone last night. I put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

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• You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

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• You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

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• You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body … o, sorry, wrong number.

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• Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!

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• Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

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• Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

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• A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home

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